Pooooosa!!

Found this article in Aftonbladet, with a very nice picture of the 'still going strong' ice racer Posa. He's my hero!!

Time to write again..

Signed up for job seekers. Bit pants. Funny thing though, people coming over from Sweden having paid their dues of the NI equivalent would get that sort of money if they moved here. If I move back to Sweden, having paid my NI dues, would get my measly £60 a week. Not that I'm complaining too much. Rather have £60 than a big phat nothing.

Also missed out on going to Stratford-on-A with Sarah, Anu and seeing Mel for the first time in I don't know how many years because I needed to attend this cute little interview at the JobCentrePlus. The Plus is a vital part of the JobCentre. ??? It's all in a name.

Anyhow. Stratford is still there. If that's all that's wrong with the world, the world is doing a pretty good job. Bring out the lens, get a bit of perspective.

Had the most bril BBQ with Stef the other day. Part of the SG crew turned up, a couple of neighbours, Saziye her hubby bubby, my 'special' friend Pete. He so makes me laugh. Neighbours comment 'you got lovely friends. It feels like family'. Too right it did. A very generous family as well, we ended up with more food and wine left than we started with. Expected a few solid guys to turn up. What's that all about? BBQ of the year, and you don't turn up? Now we can start our own soup run.

Jobs and bus stops

Past few months have been interesting. Just read a few posts, realise some things have changed, some haven't. Jobs have changed. Bus stop has changed. (Although I'm still keeping in touch with one of the bus stop regulars from NTC line 5. He's got the same smile as Colin Firth.) Friends have been added to. Managers don't change. As in different people, similar crap. Got an interview at NCSL again, different team, so should be slightly different. Been some alterations there as well, which makes me somewhat more confident that I won't bump into a particular someone. Nuf sed.

I've been in a fight. Anger spilled over, so yeah, got to deal with the fallout of that. Both dealing with consequences of not being able to control self, as well as facing the effing shite that is probably causing all the pain in the first place. Just bit of a shame that it takes such an effort to dare to face it. Now I'm forced to face it, so yeah. I'm welcoming that opportunity. Not really. Or maybe a little. As it's hopefully going to be dealt with once and for all, and when all is sorted I'm going to be normal and not weird and be just like this:

one of those nights..

when it feels as if my heart is aching and on the point of breaking. how cheesy it sounds when you put it in writing. might look better like this?

Kind of would like to see someone hurt really bad, but yeah, if i saw someone in pain i'd like for them to not feel the pain. two wrongs does not make one right.

somehow eases the pain to write a bit. even if it comes out as trite mush.

your heart, broken for me? i think that was jesus' point, kind of. taking it all, separated from the most un-mushy love ever. just don't get it. if that's done, how come it still hurts? the here, but yet to come. i know.

anyway. will go brush my toof and hop to bed. maybe read a bit before closing my blue.

Walk in Hathersage

Definitely enjoyed the walk today!! 7.5 miles starting and ending in Hathersage town. Then back to Nottingham with a stop at Toby Carvery... Yum!

Cannot describe how great it felt to just walk around, hill up, hill down. Great views, a bit of forest that looked just like Sweden, the moor (passed a dead sheep in a stream, looked rather goory, intestines outside of the body, one eye missing... not too appetizing I must say)... Just mag-ni-fi-cent!!! Loved it! Will definitely go for more walks, with or without people. Tracey and a few others are taking turns arranging a monthly walk, could do this more often than that! Next walk will be on the 17th of May, might go to Stratford with Sarah on that day, depends. If to Stratford, I'm definitely going May bank holiday. Yey!! :)

Feeling sick...

...but don't think it's one of those definable illnesses. It's like 1/3 in head, 1/5 physical, 1/2 emotional. Adds up to pretty much impossible to sort out. Am I to rest? To exercise? Eat? Drink more water? Pray? Hang out with friends? Cry?

????

Different people in my vicinity have different solutions to this. Partly not bad suggestions, but partly talking out of their rear ends kind of suggestions. Main flaw, not listening, not understanding where I'm coming from. Not understanding what's going on. Gets a bit frustrating trying to explain.

And I do fekking go for walks, I fekking try to stay in tune with life outside my head. Just need a bit of help and no, I don't want help if you don't care to listen to what I'm saying because it only pisses me off and communicates to me that you're not interested in helping, you're mainly interested in sorting an issue and being right.

So there. Eat that.


But can someone help? Please? ...

Today...

I have been in bed watching Cadfael and the Saint. Found a new treasure online: itv.com Also calculated the distance travelled while running on Monday, 1.5 miles. Embankment back and forth is pretty much 2.0 miles. Home to Trent Bridge 1.4 miles. So... I'll work my Monday runs until I can stomach that, then do 2 mile runs and then back and forth to Trent Bridge. Should work.